It started out like any other day at the office. Actually, no--I take that back--it was anything but ordinary. I had arrived at 8 AM (the equivalent of 5AM for the music industry), and already participated in two conference calls as well as a tedious prep meeting about the focus group that we would be running later in the day for a new music product (I was the Manager of Online Marketing for Sony BMG at the time). With all of that, it was still just 10:30am when I was summoned to the VP's posh corner office, where I found said VP along with a representative from HR.
(Granted, maybe the two of them together should have set off a few alarms--the music industry being what it is and all--but as they regularly asked me to come in and explain the technological side of leaking music (which programs do what, etc), I wasn't even thinking that they were about to eliminate my entire department (as well as several others), starting with me.)
The actual termination process was relatively quick: after explaining the why (corporate cut-backs) and my severance package (all the while emphasizing that I was eligible for rehire--in retrospect, this assurance was little consolation), I was directed to go and place notes on everything in my office that was to be delivered to my home (while another person from HR supervised things). Since I was the first of many cuts that day, I was not allowed to say goodbye to anyone, and as I made my way to the elevators, I found myself with fists clenched, secretly wishing that I had done something to truly justify the criminal-like escort that was leading me out of 550 Madison and into the dizzying August sun.
After the initial shock wore off, the whole event really was not all that traumatic. Sure, that company had been a part of my life for more than a decade, but the first time I turned on some music and didn't have to worry about the marketing plan for the accompanying album, it was like the sky had opened and smiled down on me; I didn't miss my former position at all. Of course, that elation now regularly turns to subdued panic as I try to determine how I am going to take care of my family when the severance package finally dries up, but it has all worked out for the best thus far.
Freedom is strange, especially if you have never had it. I have been working since I was fourteen; I went right from my college graduation on a Friday to my full-time position on the following Monday. I have never really found myself with a lot of time to pursue my ideas, and it has taken me a while to get into some sort of regular rhythm after being laid-off. Eventually, though, in between taking my daughter to the park and visiting job boards and responding to my many church responsibilities and DJ-ing events around the city, I found myself formulating a plan for my own business, almost sub-consciously. Since I don't know how long it will take to transform my vision into something that can support my family, I continue to look for a full-time position, but as my initial business concept just received a major vote of confidence by winning the Men With Pens Sticky Business Contest, I can now guarantee that you will be hearing about my musician coaching and consultation company, MusicIsMyDayJob.com, in the near future. Who knows if I won't find away to maintain this life-style of freedom and self-determination, for as initially strange and awkward as it may be, once you have it, it's hard to imagine giving up.
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